What ever happened to beating kids? Shit, my mother used to beat me with anything that she had at arm’s length. I used to get beat with alot of shit:

• belts
• extension cords
• picture frames with the glass in it
• switches (that I had to go get myself from the bush in the neighbor’s yard)
• cans of corned beef or spam (it depended on what we were having for dinner that night)
• spatulas
• whipped with a rope that she ripped off from the curtains
• TV remote
• shampoo bottle (I think it was Pert Plus… not sure… just remember it was a big green bottle… might have been a 2 in 1 thing)
• nunchucks (used to be our broom until I cut it up and tied it together with some laundry wire… I was on my knees that night sweeping the floor with the remaining broom head)
• cactus (come on, man… she didn’t beat me with a cactus, but when she threw it at me, I dodged it and it hit my friend in his back)
• rolled up newspapers/magazines
• my friends grandmother once picked up a hanger and whipped me in my neck
• One time I tried to burn the house down and my grandfather put me in an empty rice sack, tied it up and had my uncles help him hang me up from the tree in the back yard… i just remember sneezing the whole time… every 30 mins, he came out to yell and hit me with his cane a couple times.
• We have these beans in the Philippines called Mongo Beans… they’re like little BBs… I used to have to kneel down on them and hold my arms out to the side.

I can’t remember everything I was beat with, but I do remember my mother’s weapon of choice. It was her damn slipper. She was surgical with that shit. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened to this kid had he grown up in our house. My best guess is he probably would’ve been buried in the backyard and we’d have to pray for his dearly departed soul every night.